I do like children. They are cute… like puppies, you know. However, I am allergic to pets, so needless to say I don’t have the kid-friendly option selected on my Airbnb listings. I prefer adults; that works best for me.
A lady intending to reserve my space wanted to know if she could reserve for her and her eight-month-old “baby boy”. I said to myself: “Okay, I can make a exception since the thing doesn’t walk….”
I went downstairs to open the door (I always meet folks outside of the house ) and saw a car full of people, some sitting on others’ laps and the “baby boy” was a little girl instead, about 6-7 years old. I said, “Oh f&*king s#$t. Let me play it cool. I am going to be home too, so this is going to be good.”
Two guys helped her with one piece of luggage up to the house. One guy was easily about 450 lbs and the other was an older male. I followed them in and they just stared right back at me. In the house, she said, “So who is going to be here?” Red flags went up.
I said, “Just you, me, and your baby.” I went to sit down. All the people that were in the car were let inside by the fat guy and they all tried to hide in the bedroom. Their problem was I did not have a lock on the bedroom and they couldn’t fit at all. They could not hide; I could open the door any time and see seven folks in one room.
Ten minutes later, they finally left. The noise of a herd of elephants was minimal compared to that foot traffic storming out my house. In the end I got to keep the money. It was only a miracle it ended with just the biggest scare of my life, instead of well… my life.