Airbnb Makes Fawlty Towers look like the Hilton

Do not stay at a certain Airbnb property at Newport beach in Sydney. It’s not a house; it’s an apartment in the middle floor of what once was a house. It has the most dangerous flight of stairs leading down to the apartment with no railings, loose pavement, and roots growing across the pathway. The security lights don’t work properly so at night you get halfway down and you are plunged into complete darkness.

It has the most uncomfortable lounges I have ever sat on; a bed of nails would be more comfortable. The place is a bit old and tired. Parking at the place is impossible on the street; it’s a narrow goat track and while she might give you one spot in her driveway, she advertises the property as sleeping nine guests. In reality, there are two bedrooms stuffed full of bunk beds and a master bedroom.

The host is bordering on a psychopath. The cupboards are stuffed full of unsorted junk from cables, broken toys, and scratched CDs. I think she is a hoarder. She seems pleasant at first but if you cross her watch out. One day I was parked illegally because we came out at night and couldn’t see the one rusty, tree-covered sign which had a 4-hour no parking zone on a Wednesday so the garbage trucks can get around the goat track. She was so vindictive she rang the ranger and had me booked; it cost $120, which I am appealing.

She was endlessly complaining about the noise we made but she spent her day dragging something across the floor which we heard in the apartment… probably dead bodies of other complaining guests to bury. She endlessly texted us about the most trivial things but couldn’t come downstairs and tell us to move the car. We couldn’t wait to leave.

The worst is when we left we photographed the entire place and three hours later she hit us up for an extra $360 for extra cleaning. We left it spotless. So I pulled the metadata off her photos and found she had gone in and messed up the place three hours after we left as the metadata has the time in the data. I showed her and Airbnb our photo metadata and hers and thankfully it was dropped.

We left a blender motor there in our rush to get as far away as possible so she said she would mail it back if I sent down a return postage bag. $30 later after saying she had mailed it has never arrived. If you want a holiday from hell, stay here. Airbnb was sympathetic but did nothing in the end. She has all these excellent reviews and I’m sure if you don’t cross her path it might be a reasonably pleasant stay, but don’t complain. The photo she uses on her page of sweeping views of Newport is not the view from the apartment. You’re in a gully with a tree obscuring most of the view; the place is hell. It makes Fawlty Towers look like the Hilton.